And the time will take me back
to a moment without pain
It will never be the same, I can’t forget.
If the sun rose without you, I don’t know what it would be of me
Death has shown me how it’s playing with its cards
And I can’t know what is going on
Trying to get out
I don’t want to admit
My loneliness
-If the Sun Rose, Saratoga
“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
-Helen Keller
“Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and wait to hear the answer.”
“A friend in someone who knows there’s something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face.”
I don’t know who the two latter quotes are from, I just got them from some random website… they all just felt so… true… and appropriate for the moment… not unlike the following that I wanted to use in the Spanish version:
“It’s good to come back home from a long voyage and talk with your true friends, the ones where you don’t have to watch every word. You’ve friends like that, do you? I pity the man that doesn’t.”
Well… do you?
.he.
I was prompted in Plinky to write about a movie that moved me. I decided to write about The Shawshank Redemption, a great 1994 movie written and directed by Frank Darabont starring Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins, based on Stephen King’s novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.
What moved me specifically about this movie is the part where Red (Morgan Freeman) says about Andy (Tim Robbins) after he is gone: “Those of us who knew him best talk about him often, I swear the stuff he pulled. Sometimes it makes me sad though, Andy being gone, I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright, and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone… I guess I just miss my friend.”
This always reminds me of a dear friend I recently lost… well, actually it’s not all that recently, it’s been two and a half years, but it still seems like it was only yesterday I was visiting him at the hospital. He was getting better, we were talking, laughing, doing sudokus, reading some magazines I brought him to help make his time there more bearable. We were always talking about stuff, “fixing the world” as he called it. Now that he is gone, a part of me tries to accept that it’s better this way, he is not suffering anymore. There are no more tubes, no more needles, no more pills, no more insufferable diets, no more dialysis. There’s no more pain, no more sickness, no more sense of just not being able to help at all. And although I don’t see my friend slowly wither away into nothingness anymore, the other part of me, the selfish part, I guess, still wants to have him back, just keeps longing for one more day, one more conversation, one more advice, something to help with this emptiness in my soul.
For months after he passed, I kept thinking of how I was going to tell him things, trying to guess his reaction, what he’d say, then I would realize I couldn’t do that anymore… he was gone. Now there’s only his memory, certain regrets, the hope that he is in a better place and the hope that somehow, someday, when my own time comes, we will meet again… I guess I just miss my friend.
A tad ironic is that he spoke to me about this movie a long time ago, we never really got to watch it together, tough. Recently I’ve tried to share it with some friends that knew him (also a brother of his), yet they never seemed interested in watching it with me… damn shame.
.he.
When you’ve already broken all the good things that were built over the last few years…. What is there to go home to? Who will be there to talk to? Who will be there to listen to all the crap that you have to say?
Who will care?
“It’s hard to believe that there’s nobody out there, it’s hard to believe that I’m all alone…”
.he.
…English!
The other day I was thinking about doing it… so I finnaly decided that to honor my own job I would write a version of my blog in, you guessed, English.
Should someone ask why in English, well… obviously because its the only other language I can speak and/or write and… actually I’m a bit curious about finding out wich version would get the most visits (SPA vs ENG) but I guess that would first require me to translate everything to be able to look at it in a more objective way… I think that makes no sense at all… but I’m too lazy to read it again…
Something I do want to emphasize in case some wiseass someday reads both versions and would like to criticize (not that I don’t absolutely love criticizm… or sarcasm…) is that it wont necessarily be a direct word by word translation because first of all it would make absolutelly no sense and second because I just don’t wanna do it like that. What I do want to do is rewrite the posts in the other language in such a way that it transmits the same message but not necessarily in the same exact way… or something to that effect…
Another thing I would like to clarify is that the original post will not necessarily be in Spanish, it would depend on my mood that day (and we all know I’m quite moody) and also… I won’t tell which was the original language… but maybe you would like to guess… or maybe not… =O/
As always, comments are highly welcome and appreciated.
.he.
crap, crap, crap…… it’s all crap, I’m sick and tired of it all…….. It’s probably just my imagination…. or maybe not….. who knows?
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